Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Ball Worries

So, we have a local fetish event called The Ball. They happen every couple months at a local nightclub. Basically it's a nightclub with a dance floor, and they section off part of it to turn it into a dungeon. There's a strict fetish wear dress code.There's also a lot of rules in place for safety, it really is a very well run, and long-running, event

I've been to The Ball once. It was shortly after I met Daddy, and we hadn't yet started our DD/bg relationship. It was the Halloween Ball, which meant I was in costume, not fetish wear. The Halloween Ball is a great one to go to for first timers, but the regulars often don't like it because it brings out the "tourists". I spent the night dancing and hanging out with my friends, I didn't go anywhere near the dungeon.

Now, the June Ball is coming up, and the three of us are planning on going. I was really excited about getting my first "real" Ball experience, maybe even getting into the dungeon. Like Daddy said in his post, we've been hosting some events, and going out to others, in order to meet people in the community. This means we know more people who will be there, which should make me more comfortable. But, lately I've been having second thoughts about going to The Ball. Daddy told me the decision on whether or not I was going this time was up to me, but that I would be going to the next Ball, no matter what. I have a lot of body image issues, and when I tried on the outfit I planned on wearing and realized just how little it covered, I freaked out a little. Really, I'm as covered as I am in a bathing suit, but I have been told to be prepared to lose my top over the course of the evening. So that thought makes me a little uncomfortable.  It also happens to be tamile's birthday Ball. Because of this, Daddy will be spending some extra time with her in the dungeon. So, I thought I'd be more in the way than anything, but it turns out she wants me there to help with getting water and such. So, if I don't go, she'd be missing out too. So, I've made the decision that I am going, but I'm still nervous about it. I know I'm safe with Daddy and I trust him with my life, so why am I scared?

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Small fetish events

All of our little trouple are organizers to one extent or another.  We love nothing more than having people over, introducing them to new things and having a good time all around.  Gatherings also make for a great excuse to clean the house, and as an added bonus by hosting parties it means we don't have to go out as often. You see secretly we are all hermits as well as organizers.

About two months ago we returned to Fetlife after a long absence. We saw that small events had started to become more common place in our local community.  I think this is a wonderful thing as they make for great community building events.  They give people the opportunity to meet other kinksters in a smaller more intimate setting, as opposed to some loud dungeon or massive event.  Speaking for myself I know I've met some wonderful people through these little events.

* A quick side note: I wrote the first draft of this in Notepad on my iPhone. As I typed in the word Fetlife my iPhone suggested the spelling if the word for me and even auto populated the word.  This struck me as funny; I think I've taught my iPhone to be kinky.

Since small events were more popular we announced that we would be hosting a Cards Against Humanity night.  If you've never played it Cards Against Humanity is the perfect combination of gaming, laughter, and kink for a BDSM crowd. You can find out more information and even download a PDF version of the game for free here. http://cardsagainsthumanity.com/

Here is a quick rundown of how the game works.  There are black cards one person takes one from the centre pile and reads off.  Then the rest of the players all pass that person a white card from their hand. Picking the card that they think will get the best laugh or the one the best fills in the blank on the black card.  The person who read the original card reads all of the ones handed in out loud to everyone and picks a winner.  The winner gets the black card for scoring.

Black card examples:

  • Why is mommy Crying?
  • Only two things in life are certain Death and *BLANK*
  • What do Old people smell like?
  • In Michael Jackson’s final moments he thought about?

White cards examples:

  • A drive by shooting
  • An upper cut
  • The milk man
  • Tentacle porn
  • Penises kissing
  • Sean Connery
  • Friction
  • Two midgets shitting in a bucket

So, all of this together means that you are playing cards and putting together combinations of cards that might make the average person feel uncomfortable. With our groups instead of feeling uncomfortable we were laughing our asses off.  The cards and the game are just a means to an end.  They help to relax people, to get them on the same page, and to get them talking.  Through the games I’ve gotten to know a lot of new people and they have gotten to know me.

Now when the next major event comes along I’ll have friends who I can be there with.  That connection to others is often what makes any event so much greater.  In the end small events build friendships.  If you have to opportunity get out to the small events in your community.  Be aware of the dress code, and the rules of the group hosting the event.  They might differ from group to group.  Don’t be afraid of things like vetting (We’ll do a post about that at some point in the future) it is for everyone’s safety.

If you are fortunate enough to have the space and the ability to host events then take the plunge.  Maybe print up a copy of Cards Against Humanity and invite a bunch of people over to play.  Make it an Event on Fetlife, just be safe about it, for your sake and the sake of your guests.  If you do have an event be sure to comment and let us know how it went.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Cable TV is Evil

Posted by tamile

So the group of us have just come back from doing two conventions in a two week period.  The were both Sci Fi/ Fantasy Conventions and both were a very good time.  But, that is not what this post is about.

You see for both conventions we were staying in hotels and of course the hotels had TV with cable. With my knee injuries I ended up spending more time in the room than normal (Usually we just fall down and sleep in our room between the fun activities at con)  So I got sucked into the bright shiny box with a vengeance.

We have not had cable in the house for almost three years and normally watch some netflix or download the shows we want to follow.

So normally our attachment to the bright shiny box is very limited and for myself when I am home alone I tend to listen to podcasts or the radio.

I realized that between the two weekends - I miss Cable TV.  Not just to see the shows that I download but also as a background noise generator/channel surfing.

Now I know that all the shows are done for the season but really that is not my point.  It was kinda fun to come into the hotel room and channel surf till I found something that caught my interest.

Now I know that we are not going to get cable (the service provider sucks and it is too damm expensive) and in a couple of weeks time I won't even miss it any more (most likely at least).

So My Love tells me that my next post needs to be about poly or BDSM or something related to that.

So I guess I better start thinking on that.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013


Daddy & I have been working on our list of rules together. Daddy wants me to be involved in setting the rules, not just have rules set by him for no apparent reason. All of the rules we came up with are meant to help me be a better person. Here's what we have so far:

Ask Daddy before eating any sweets
Ask Daddy before masturbating
Make my bed every morning
Brush my teeth before bed every night
Be up & out of bed by 10:30 every morning
Write in my journal every night
Track all my food & exercise in My Fitness Pal (an app on my iPhone used to track food & exercise for weight loss).

That's what we have so far, it's still a work in progress.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Ending Ender's Game

So I had planned to write something about the cross over between the Fet Community and Fandom (The sci-fi Fantasy community) but I've decided to hold off on that for now. I figure I've got two more convention to go so let’s see if that connection holds true through the rest of them as well.

Instead I'm going to write about something that really had me feeling torn up over.  That is until I did some research.  One of my favorite books of all time is Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card.  So a few years ago I was both excited and terrified to learn that it was being made in to a movie.  Would they get it right? would it be the Ender's Game I've seen in my head all these year? Could I justify spending money to go and see the movie knowing Orson Scott Card Political views on homosexuality and that some of that money I spend to see the movie would end up in his pocket?

Let’s start with some quick things about the movie.  The first trailer is out and it looks great. I'm happy with the adult actors who were picked for the important roles.  I also agree with the decision that was made to age up the characters, sure it does lessen the impact by not having a 6 year old do some of the things Ender does but most of the audience couldn't accept the concept I don't think.  If you haven't seen the trailer yet here is a link to it.

Now for the politics of the whole situation.  Orson Scott Card is at the forefront of the Anti-gay marriage movement.  He is a board member of the National Organization for Marriage (NOM).  He has be quoted as saying;

That if the U.S. government in any way allows states to legalize gay marriage, then the government will become his “mortal enemy,” and he will “act to destroy that government and bring it down.”
He also advocates that sodomy laws remain in place to “to send a clear message that those who flagrantly violate society’s regulation of sexual behavior cannot be permitted to remain as acceptable, equal citizens within that society.”

To be clear about this Ender's Game doesn't touch on any of these issues.  There are no gay characters in the novel and with Orson Scott Card as a producer I think it is safe to say that none have been added. Some people use this fact as an argument that it is ok to be excited by the movie, and that since it doesn't promote his views that they shouldn't matter.  Basically separating the artist from his art.  I think that idea is ok to a point, but I'm not sure how much we can separate one from the other. 

I highly doubt we Will we have some commitment that the money he makes from the movie won't go to promote his personal views.  So giving money to this movie could be like money to an anti-gay marriage movement.  Sure it might be less than a percent of each penny made, but that still my money going into that type of organization and I'm not going to let that happen.

If an artist had a strong feeling towards a given faith or most other strong believes I could handle that.  I wouldn't object to something like that. People can still just say no in most of those situations.  In this case I've decided it just goes too far.  Orson Scott Card actively lobbies and commits both money and time to achieve end that go against things I believe in.  That if he had his way would criminalize any entire way of life. 

I just can't bring myself to support him or this movie.  I hope after reading this that you won't either.